megan ward blogged

Best Laid Plans

2011-12-29T20:34:00.000-08:00

What can I say?

I'm a girl with too many distractions. Even though I met many of my intentions in 2011, blogging was obviously not one of them.

This year, I found myself, appropriately so, right in the middle of my life. Libra tendencies in full force, I struggled physically and emotionally to find the balance between effort and surrender. (Yoga anyone?) But thru this struggle, I continued to learn about myself, my purpose and my place.

I'm learning to put my faith in the inherent promise of each new day. Every day I'm working on looking inward, instead of outward, for validation. So maybe that's why blogging just keeps getting put off for another day.

Although quiet, it's been a good year. I have much to be grateful for including having those who still care to listen. So for those who are, I defer to A A Milne & my beloved Muppets to make my melancholy point:

My 2011

Pushing Buttons

2011-02-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

Last year my foremost New Year's Intention was learning to use my Mute Button. For a person that tends to over-think just about everything, it was challenging. Most of last year was spent continuing to adjust to life's changes by building skills and modifying expectations. This is hard enough without contemplating every single voice inside AND outside my head. So you see why a silencer is required.

Now this year, my foremost Intention is to push the Enter Button. I found that a good way to use that Mute Button is to not give myself the opportunity to even need it. So my plan is to take care of the task before I find myself in an endless conversation of how to actually DO the task. Considering the variety and frequency of tasks in my life, I should get lots of practice.

So there you go. Simple enough, right? One more blog and I'll raise my total from last year!

new for 2011

2011-01-30T10:16:00.000-08:00

#1: blog more.

metaphor megan's new year's intentions

2010-02-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

TICK, TICK, TICK

All of 2009, all I could hear and feel was tick, tick, tick. Was it a phantom metronome motivating pace or a bomb about to go off? All I knew was that it permeated my life. It kept me up at night, suppressed my appetite and blurred my focus. Most importantly it made me one crabby camper, just ask anyone around me, because its vibrations perpetuated my belief I was in control of/responsible for everything.

Unfortunately trying to quiet the sound of time slipping through my fingers actually created a paradox: more output = fewer results. The harder I tried, the more I qualified my efforts as failures. Even though I woke everyday hoping for satisfaction, my only reward was making it to bedtime. How could I get time back on my side and stop pounding in my ears?

Are you ready? It's so simple it could make one weep. The clock turned 12 and the ball dropped. Then silence. Did the bomb explode? I looked around for devastation but found myself alive in not only a new year, but a new decade. Suddenly instead of problems and limitations, I saw love, health and prosperity. I could once again appreciate what I had and not just obsess over what I wanted. I vowed at that moment my epiphany would last. I had been given a moment of wisdom: understanding the difference between what I could control and what I couldn't.

Predictably, I devised a plan and wrote a list. No longer would I waste time feeling sorry for myself. Instead I would spend my energies on small efforts towards the larger goal of balancing my life. I put only the tangible on my list and promised myself to be patient. On 1/1/10, I embarked on my new philosophical adventure. Now when doubt crosses my mind, I remind myself that ticking is actually fear. Then I change the subject.

One month in and results abound. My first day back at yoga class the teacher reminded me to release my clenched muscles so they could extend and lengthen. So I did, and they actually do! This one example is indicative of all my life categories. Relationships with my kids, husband, friends, career, body and general sanity have all expanded, grown and strengthened.

Life is too short to let fear compromise the possibilities. Sometimes all we have to do is find the mute button.

this made me laugh, have fun

2010-01-11T12:55:00.000-08:00

"The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men"

santa's list

2009-12-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

... no cookies were made or harmed during this production.

the role of soccer mom will now be played by megan ward*

2009-12-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

i have to be honest, i was a little nervous when the nanny's vacation coincided with the husband's business trip. not to mention both trips followed the long thanksgiving weekend! that meant i would be doing EVERYTHING: cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, making 4 school trips a day, etc. right along with all my regular obligations. so i tried to line up support troops for last minute back-up in case any professional conflicts arose and proceeded to put on my domestic goddess hat.

before my solo-all-purpose-homemaker skills would be put to the test, there was the thanksgiving 4-day weekend. turkey day alone could have done me in but the whole weekend turned out to be surprisingly relaxing and celebratory. the mother-in-law has threatened my assumption of the super cooking duties (and my first turkey) for years but it was not possible until our remodel enabled the installation of an-oven-specifically-purchased-for-cooking-holiday-meals-in! at the last minute she decided she simply could not give up her tradition so i only had to prepare my 2 annual dishes on/in my giant range. as a consolation prize, we did then have a gathering for my immediate family in our home. however, it was a pot luck brunch so i was spared again the possibility ruining the main dish! now i have no reason to expect i couldn't actually put out a whole spread, i've just never done it. there in lies the FEAR!

fatefully, my reprieve will be short lived. i have been informed officially, with absolutely no take backs, for the first time: CHRISTMAS EVE WITH MICHAEL'S FAMILY WILL TAKE PLACE IN MY HOME! now this is an even bigger deal than thanksgiving, but its time for grandma to let others take over. if there was ever a time for me to accept responsibility and spend the time, this is the year. sadly as i self motivate with internal words of confidence, my son informs me how sad he is we won't be going to grandma's! geez, i can't win.

but back to my "role of a lifetime." bright and early monday morning i tackled my "job" with unnecessary vigor. i was determined not to let a speck of dust settle. i was obsessed with using every setting on my new washer. i was inspired to make dinners that the whole family would eat. in short, i had passion for what i had been missing the last few years. i found that i hadn't forgotten how to do it all and that i could make up stuff when circumstances surprised me. i found my efforts of building a house for my family had even bigger dividends when i added the simple ingredient of me. i heard internal applause when my kids responded to my requests or simply volunteered a spontaneous hug.

ultimately i learned that validation and purpose come in many forms. you just have to be careful where you look for it. i am constantly adjusting my balance in life. this thanksgiving season i am once again reminded that i have purpose, ability and those who do appreciate my efforts. that makes me humble with gratitude.

so, now i can move on to the gift of giving. naked tree is in the living room surrounded by boxes of ornaments. hmm, do i dare make a main dish for christmas eve or reserve my bowling ball of ham in the morning? either way, my family will still love me. (plan to bribe with presents just in case)

hope all your bellies are full....

megan

*disclaimer: written with glass of wine in hand while kiddies watch its a charlie brown christmas. please excuse the sentimentality and grammar/spelling errors....

near misses: three truths

2009-11-11T15:18:00.000-08:00

in hollywood, for every job you get there are dozens you don't. when i started auditioning as a teenager, someone wise warned me that there were 500 actors for any given role. that is why when asked about getting into the business, i always advise caution concerning the odds of making rent. i say only pursue it if there is absolutely NOTHING else you like/want/need to do. if you are resilient with a short term memory, you might be able to persevere. for better or worse, i have spied that elusive brass ring of overnight success. lets talk about three of them, that i remember.

1. mr. matthew mcconaughey.

the charm and abdominal strength you see on film exists in real life. i witnessed them both first hand one afternoon in a van nuys sound stage. after a successful audition for a first time director, the now insanely successful adam shankman, i was asked to read with the film's star on camera. the studio had their picks but adam wanted me to do well. i accepted his work session invitation at his dance studio before the test. i was the only one and this was once again looking like my kind of opportunity: a clever supporting role a charming romantic comedy with a young director at a small studio. could this be the one??

The Wedding Planner would have been my second film with mcconaughey. although we didn't work together, we were both in a small movie called Glory Daze. (um, also starring sam rockwell, ben affleck and french stewart to name a few...) i referenced it when we met and instantly bonded over storytelling and character acting. one of the scenes i had to do was emotional. he saw i had done my homework, so he skipped a break to do the scene right away. despite our instant rapport and a pleasingly executed 40 minute filmed audition, a studio darling would once again claim the trophy. boo.

2. miss shannen doherty.

i was on the set of one my greatest victories. i had won the role of the feisty tempestuous daughter of none other than ann-margret: my hero! we were filming episode 5 of a seven episode ordered mid-season series call Four Corners. this was a dream job for me: red hair, horses, kamar de los reyes! it was a primetime soap by the creators of knots landing. i played a wild youth in love with a priest(kamar) bent on returning him to my bed.

on the same day i heard we had been cancelled after only 2 nights of airings, my manager said she had a test offer for supernatural show called Charmed. i read the pilot and loved it, but i was reeling from disappointment and vulnerable to my manager's recommendation to pass. and so i did. oops. this is my one regret of my career. truthfully, the part was shannen's. i had no shot. but i almost never turn down opportunities. sometime i probably should, but ultimately for me, it feels worse to not try.

3.mr. rupert everett.

here we go again! one friday night got a call from my agent for an audition the next morning. unusual, but occasionally a weekend audition happens during tv pilot season. this is a time of high stress for actors, agents and casting directors. for about 3 months, big life changing last minute decisions are made. at one point in my life i had 20 auditions a week with a record 7 test deals on the table. (its own blog entry...) but an actor can only test for ONE in first position. this means you have to decide which show you want the most or have the best chance of getting. either way, you have to gamble what could be 7 years plus syndication! so an actor has to negotiate a contract and sign a deal before going in for the final reading with the studio and network executives. this can be one or two readings after a long process of making it through casting directors, producers, writers and directors. and you can get cut between the two. just simply asked to leave. so you can imagine how important the season is when you wait and wait for THE/ANY opportunity.

so here i am, ready to jump for another audition even if was 7:30 on saturday morning with no preparation time. unfortunately, that was not the only complication. the producers were replacing an actress in a pilot written by the creator of Mad About You for NBC. it was the second most expensive pilot of the season. (heather locklear's was the most) so this meant it was secret, fast and desirable. but my only immediate concern was that i had to wake up at 6am and not get paid for it!

i don't know what was in my coffee, but it turned out to be meeting to remember. i jumped into the comedy deep end and gave them a very original reading. it was a situation where they couldn't quite figure out who the character needed to be, so i guess they thought they could try anything with me. i got the role that day and did the deal on sunday having to fax contracts from kinkos. why does your technology break only when you really need? usually, pilots cast and shoot quickly but it was one for the books. not having a test session for network almost NEVER happens. even stars have to test, but they were under the gun and i got lucky.

so far so good, every thing going my way. now the catch: i needed to start the next day, monday, because production had already begun and taping was scheduled for friday. the problem? i had a 6 am call on a farm an hour outside of los angeles on ANOTHER job. without auditioning, i had been offered the role of lori loughlin's sister in Summerland. it was only going to take a few days to film and i thought it would be a great to start a whole series. (my character died leaving her kids to lori's character) whats the harm in taking this little job..? well, now that i booked another, i had to do 2 jobs, 2 days of the 5 days left on the 1/2 hour pilot. and on primetime sets, a minimum work day is 12 hours. hmmm.

now this is not the first time i worked 2 sets on the same day, but it may have been the most difficult. these were both brand new productions where everyone is still figuring out what they want. crews don't know each other well yet and many, many decisions have to be made. any little choice can be the difference between being picked up or abandoned by the network. so i worked a good 12 hours in a farmhouse then read the brand-new-re-written-since-audition-sit-com pilot while driving from simi valley to disney in burbank to rehearse for another 4. (note to agent: this is when production should get you driver!)

comedy is NOT easy. ask anyone, a comedy pilot is one of the most challenging to do well. if you don't deliver the joke and get a laugh once, it's gone. now this isn't exclusively an actor's problem. its also the writers problem and the directors problem. after about 8 hours of rehearsing, there are run-throughs at the end of everyday. that night the writers can re-write the whole show top to bottom for a table read at 8am the next morning. you have to sell it having maybe read it once. and your character may change right along with the jokes. i had the added bonus: they were confused about my character from the get go. lets just say, i never worked so hard in my life. well, this kind of work: always looking for the joke and trying to define the character. there is no margin for error in sit-com. no laugh=no good. pilots usually rehearse for 2 weeks with a marathon tape day at the end. i had basically a quarter of that time and 4 times the changes. but i had motivation: a fabulous cast lead by sexy brit with a quick wit.

rupert everett was lovely and fun and always knew who he was. he just wanted it funny and tried everything. i had many scenes with him as my character was "his girl friday" and hopelessly in love with the unattainable man. but we ALL were truly trying to find our way. each of us had our own challenges to overcome in this heightened reality. one of mine was a knock down drag out fight with an actor who happens to be a little person. the experience bonded us for life and we are still very close. but the most remarkable moments were both calming down and building up SIR derek jacobi. yes he is a KNIGHT. people please google him. one of the finest actors ever. a week after we finished taping he was staring in hamlet, and THIS made him nervous. so maybe you all believe me when i try to describe the pain of creating this form of entertainment. i literally held his hand as we walked out to introduce ourselves to the audience. oh, did i mention the live audience taping at the end of this grueling week??

despite the fact we created a wild british farce, the show would never make the airwaves. it was crazy, unique and ahead of it's time. a repeating theme in my career. oh btw, the heather locklear pilot didn't get an order either. so there. (she is soooo great btw, melrose place. um, yeah, its own blog.)

what it all comes down to

2009-11-03T13:37:00.000-08:00

what a month. i mean really. someone please tell me when i'll have a moment where there is nothing i have to do! as i was driving home from an audition just now, my ipod played "hand in my pocket" by alanis morissette. so fitting. life continues to keep me on my toes but i am here to report it hasn't gotten me down. october activities kept every one of my "hats" off the shelf.

2 charity events
5 costumes
7 halloween parties
days on GH
guest spot on Ghost Whisperer
change in professional representation
frequent auditions
multiple acquisitions and installation/assembly of new furniture/decor
oliver's homework initiation
oliver's first pet: russian tortoise he named Genghis
audrey's 2 colds

there are many other accomplishments, unfortunately frequent blogging was not on the list. so i wanted to take a moment before i head off to set to check in. right now november looks like my opportunity to catch up. famous last words, right? but i feel a sense of excitement about what comes my way again. so much of the last 18 months has been about putting one foot in front of the other. about checking duties off a list. i now feel my hard work is paying off. although my list still gets added to daily, i do see the things i've crossed off. i am enjoying the results.

thank you all for sitting tight. i do plan to reveal my truths and one lie plus kate continues to make appearances. in fact, the one i'm taping today will certainly set off keyboards. look for "dead air" on your cbs channel soon. working on a single camera set after such a long time was no small experience. we'll all see together how it comes out...

next up: thanksgiving recipe hunt!

late for work,

megan

vodka & cran

2009-10-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

for the life of me i can't figure out mobile posting, but i finally got these off my phone. as you can see, i had a ridiculous amount of fun. thank you girls for coming out. thank you kristi for sacrificing super diamond and once again living up to your super-date status.

and thank you to all who supported a worthy cause.

(i wish i had taken more pictures! clearly i need more practice with self photography...)

take TWO

2009-10-03T22:28:00.000-07:00

it's a big deal in LA when you have your film screen for the first time at the director's guild. it's one of those industry events much like receiving your first fed-exed work travel plane ticket. of course those little ego joys no longer exist due to TECHNOLOGY!

anyway, my film Freaked was in fact having its screening at the guild's theater. it is a large theater and i had no idea what to expect, but was excited to see the movie for the first time. it had been the craziest job i had ever had. (keep in mind i had already done a movie about a caveman/but i had not yet been cast to act opposite millions of cockroaches either.)

the screening was turning out to be much like the film making process. not only did powerful producers and studio executives show, but also lots of very cool LA scene-sters. all the people involved with the production from the directors and producers to the THREE special effects houses to the production assistants were all interesting, talented and people you would want to invite to a party. mr. t was in the film for crying out loud! so it would be appropriate that the guest list to the movies's first public showing would be equally eclectic.

if only i could remember who i went with. yikes. i think it was a friend. i know it wasn't my future husband because anthony kiedis had no problem striking up a conversation with me before the movie started. or right after the movie finished. or at the after-party. or in the parking lot while i was waiting for my car. geez! this was a chili pepper!!! i was flattered but honestly a little scared. and besides, for all the rockstar mojo, he had nothing on my michael.

believe it or not, i was actually rather shy in those situations. i mean, i just stood there in the lobby staring at keanu trying to decide whether to say hi. i worried he wouldn't remember me. um, first of all megan, he JUST watched you in the movie he MADE OUT with you in!!!

so there you have it. wish my memory was better. i know there were lots of cool things that happened that night, but those are the only two things i remember. i guess it really was a good party...

it's easy being green

2009-09-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

quick little blog to introduce you to my fabulous visionary bff: Magda.

i have know this woman all my life and she has created an exceptional business and eco-retail-life-style movement. magda has become an expert in making green purchases without compromising a thing. she has the only eco-retail store in los angeles, a full service website companion and even a mobile unit that visits festivals all over.

i love her labels, her mission and her friendship! have a look if you are shopping or just curious about living green in style....

www.visionaryboutique.com

enjoy!! i am shopping for house accessories today... thinking seriously about the pucci vases!

#7

2009-09-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

In 1996, I was sent a script for film with an adorable supporting role I immediately fell in love with. Auditioning for the young and talented director, only made me want it more. I got very excited when the feedback was good and I was in contention for the role. Unfortunately, days later, I found out the studio wouldn’t approve me even though the director did. This is Hollywood my friends and not the first or last time I would hear this decision. To my surprise the casting office then called back saying the director requested me for a special table reading of the script. Um, sure!

On an early Saturday morning I showed up at an LA hotel conference room. There was a full buffet off to the side and a long table with chairs in the center. Casting told me to find the seat with my name. Nerves and excitement took care of any adrenaline I needed. No caffeine was required on this morning. So I sat at my seat trying to look cool like this was something I did every day. But as I read down the day’s cast list I found at my seat, looking cool got harder and harder.

The actors strolled in one by one. Some were successful and on TV shows. Some I recognized from auditions. Producers sat down to observe. The director sat across from me right next to the seat for the actress playing the lead role of the movie. She wasn’t here yet, but the actor who my character was romantically involved with arrived and sat down next to me. He was unshaven and dare I say, un-bathed. He mumbled a hello and all I was forced to pretend to work on my script. Of course I stayed up all night preparing, but it sure didn’t feel like it at this moment. I recognized him. Although he was Australian, he had starred in a couple of American movies. At this point in my career I had already worked with celebrities, but he had confidence that made me feel 5 years old.

We were all still waiting for the big name already cast who would drive this vehicle to a box office hit. Just when I thought I might be forced to actually leave the safety of my chair and walk over for a muffin, all conversation stopped. She finally arrived, hiding behind a hat and glasses and apologizing for being late but ONLY making eye contact with the director. We could finally start. All the actors introduced themselves and scripts were opened.

Table readings are nerve-racking even under the best circumstances. Judgments are being made, opinions being formed. Even though I knew this part wasn’t mine, I secretly wished I could somehow overturn the decision. But the reading wasn’t about me. It was about an actor on the rise, Russell Crowe winning the approval of a star, Julia Roberts. Lots of acting was going on, but little having to do with the script. I just tried to keep up and remember as much as I could. I remember it being fun despite the pressure and I was so proud to be there. But I was also relieved when it was over.

The director and casting people could not have been more gracious. But conversations needed to happen and most of us were done with our job. I verbalized a goodbye to my scene partner and he nodded his. I’m not sure it was as much fun for him. Julia was out the door and we were free to leave.

I think we know the rest. Russell Crowe didn’t get the part and Dermot Mulroney did. Megan Ward didn’t get the part, Cameron Diaz did. My Best Friend’s Wedding made $287 million worldwide and I got a story to tell...

10 truths and a lie: celebrity style

2009-09-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

you asked for it, you got it. can't promise a meal to the victor, but the title of super-guesser will be all yours.

so, MEGAN WARD...

screen-tested with matthew mcconaughey

passed on shannen doherty part in charmed

snuck backstage and got a kiss from a drunk michael hutchence

ran into a cement pillar while gawking at charlie sheen

was bought a lap-dance by demi moore

made out with keanu reeves

did a table reading with russell crowe and julia roberts

was hit on by anthony kiedis(red hot chilli peppers)

danced with madonna

starred in pilot opposite rupert everett

caught larry mullen's (u2) drumstick

good luck and remember your sportsmanlike conduct!

match-point

2009-09-14T22:31:00.001-07:00

holy crap! 5th set of the us open men's final!!!! i have no nails left!

tennis is often used as an analogy for acting: this back and forth effort that keeps a ball in play. the ball is the story and players are the characters. unfortunately, just like athletes, some actors want to beat their partner, but when you have one that can just hit the ball back, the entertainment is endless.

i really don't pay attention to sports, except for the olympics, but i know other games must inspire similar emotions in people. my husband tries to get me excited with underdog stories of football players, but its not the same for me.* i just dig the tennis! the player's personalities are well defined and visible. (a certain female player unfortunately demonstrated some of hers this week.) also the spectators are so close and like an audience in a theater. they could even be considered another character in the show. the camera has constant cutaways to reactions of trainers and spouses. plus good commentators can articulate the meaning of it all.

i am sad the gentleman of tennis got tired, but excited and inspired by a new champion fulfilling the dream of a lifetime. (those tears!)

maybe i'll dust off my own racket this weekend. one of these days i really have to learn how to serve...

*i do like football parties... :)

sign of the time

2009-09-12T22:20:00.000-07:00

I am such a Libra! I’m always seeking perfection in the balance. As much I long for different personality traits, I think after this many years, I better just accept it's how I am made. As long as I can find the balance with my obsessions and smell the flowers, success will be the journey after all. As this has been my year of growing up, I have learned a variety of news skills not to mention a few new philosophical points of view. But on the eve of a personal new decade it gives me strength to reflect on what I’ve learned and know others join me along the way.

I am still made speechless by your support. Unfortunately sometimes one can’t voice the totality of their opinions and one may be beholden to serve the big picture, but when any individual discovers where and how they can demonstrate their integrity, the world is just a little better for it. Despite my inevitable disappointments, I refuse to quit on my ethics. I will adapt to my options at any particular moment, but I will not ever limit myself to them. Life is full of highs and lows, and they are no more obvious than in Hollywood. But there is also no better place for the come-back.

I am just using a lot of words to say thank you to those who believe in me and my work. I have been baffled by how some decisions are made in several categories of my life, but this must be what most people feel at particular times in their life. I truly now understand life is not about what happens to you but really about how you react to it.

Happily, life continues to move forward and I had a very balanced month of family, home and work. We had a very relaxing vacation. I’ve been able to cross more projects off the remodel list and real opportunities have been trickling in. Plus you will have not 1, not 2, but 5 Kate days the last week of September and you may actually like them too.

Good night my flowers. And thank you again for keeping me on the road.

Megan

shhhhh...

2009-09-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

i know the waiting continues,

but kate's next appearance may make you fall off your bar stool.

you are officially warned... hehehe.

i put in 2 very long days with several others and it was all worth it.

have fun!! i sure did.

(feel free to speculate. although you probably knew about scenes before i did!)

family trippin'

2009-08-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

View from my high school bedroom.

There's no place like home...

3 days left.

hunger pains

2009-08-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

what does it say about me that i am dipping giant pretzels in peanut butter while watching Top Chef Masters Finale..?

(...and chasing it with a diet beer)

kate howard would be so disappointed.

summer, summer, summer...

2009-08-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

that is my excuse. the list gets longer, if i can bother to write stuff down, and one by one things do get done. but truthfully i find myself just putting most stuff off until tomorrow. its working pretty well for me since i have my handy-dandy excuse.

i get the kids off to camp, grumble all the way to the gym lecturing myself that i can defy age by getting back into my skinny jeans. on the way home i contemplate all the things i'm going to do after i take a shower but then decide i simply MUST have a 5 minute nap.

2 hours later i realize its time to get ready to pick up the kids. after i get them home and snacked up (a 2 hour process), i decide we all need a little rest after such a long and hot day. the kids take turns with the relaxation viewing selections. dinnertime follows with tales of the day in between demands to return to the table and finish eating so we can play the game of how many times does mom tell the kids its bath time.

more good times follow with pajamas and treats and toothbrushes and books after which the biggest decision of the day comes: beer or bills. (hum the jeopardy theme with me) i think by now you know the obvious choice. the day ends with my beloved dvr and new bedroom suite surround sound. depending on the amount of tasks completed on the list, little green notebook accompanies me as i map out all the things i am not going to do tomorrow.

i'm using my resolution to just own it. oliver told me last night as i tucked him bed and stayed instead of rushing off to answer emails that he was having the BEST summer ever. things are really getting done and work responsibilities are met despite the summer haze, but the way i look at it, august is closed in europe!

oh look, i blogged. now i can check off one thing on my list. looks like i had a productive day!

aka: the luckiest girl in the world

i want a medal. no really, i WANT a medal!

2009-07-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

i drove 55 mins in LA traffic to take my 8 year old to a yu-gi-oh* tournament only to endure 2 hours of 100-degree-sequestered-back-of-a-manga*-store-heat while being both the oldest & dumbest person in the room. i don't know which was harder: trying to learn in 5 mins the most complicated and competitive card game ever invented or keeping my 3 year old from licking the carpet.

this is the definition of a mother's love. i received the honor because dad was busy at his own big-boy fan mecca: comic-con*. (and i wonder where my son gets it..?) so, reluctantly, i relented to the begging and pitching and all around marketing campaign that is my son.

i sat there watching, protecting and promoting the night's youngest player as he demonstrated more savvy and maturity than i thought he had. my sweaty legs were squished against the pleather folding metal chairs while desperately trying to prevent my little target dress from giving the adolescent contestants more than their $5 admission paid for. i bribed the only other female present with pocky and a first bubblegum ball so i could attempt keeping score with my little leather notebook since i did not have the prestigious iphone yu-gi-oh counting app*.

when we finally arrived home way past bedtime, the smile of winning his first match was still plastered on his face. as he got ready for bed without complaint, the smile was still plastered on his face. as i tucked him in and turned out the lights reminding him of all the things we had to do before camp in the morning, the smile was still plastered on his face...

okay, i guess i did get my medal.

*google it

things i have learned in the last 24 hours

2009-07-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

mini nutter butters taste just as good with wine, as the regular size.
wrigleyville t-shirts transition well from yoga to animation auditions.
mommy-daughter bracelets are good bribes to finish dinner.
dot-to-dot is both fun daddy-time and sneaky stalling-shower-time.
what nature doesn't give you, cartoonist can.
you can never have too many band-aids.
must be careful when handling puzzles.
let teens pick out your accessories.
men who take children to grandparents for early morning swim because mother was out playing until 2:30am, make good husbands.
friends who sacrifice finances, time and sleep, can fill a room with enough love to last through any drought.

honorable mentions:

*bring uhaul to next gathering.

*taffy is supposed to be soft?!

kickin' it

2009-07-17T08:27:00.000-07:00

had a fabulous time last night with old friends...

(thanks kristi for the pictures)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA

2009-07-05T12:04:00.000-07:00

My top 10 definitions of freedom this weekend:
Movies
Swimming
Grandparents House
Naps
BBQ
Board Games
Brownies
Beer
Wimbledon
And checking one more thing off master list (making husband move and unpack book boxes from garage) hehe
Hope you all had your own moments of freedom this weekend!
Megan

Dancing Dreams

2009-06-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Talk about a Hot Tamale Train, the first 5 mins of SYTYCD were sizzling!

I can't help myself. Watching these kids work so hard, displaying their talent and hoping to be picked resonates with me. I'm mean, don't we all want to be PICKED!

(um, yes hard-wired for actors)

"You're Never Fully Dressed w/out a Smile"-ANNIE

7th grade Talent Show

M.Ward, Jesus, bff StacyC.

I empathize with their journeys to get it right, their ability to learn new skills, and to anticipate what the judges like. I guess this explains my addiction to reality tv... well, not ALL reality tv. I have a weakness for shows where contestants earn their rewards, where they demonstrate a talent that otherwise might go unnoticed and unrecognized. I'm a sucker for the underdog and LOVE to root for them.

After all, good drama is based on this: discovering characters, relating to them, being challenged by them and ultimately not knowing their fates. I will predict, guess, speculate and argue but ultimately ANYTHING could happen. And, I want MY pick to win! Because then in some small way, I WIN!!!!

Anyway, THIS is how shows stay on my DVR.

List of Favs:
So You Think You Can Dance
American Idol
Top Chef
Project Runway

List of Closet Favs:
The Fashion Show
Make Me a Supermodel
I Survived a Japanese Game Show

2009-06-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

make a list!

this seems to be my credo. in an effort to keep control of all things random, it is necessary for me to write everything down before it completely disappears from my brain. those of us old enough to know, the effort is ultimately futile, but i'm a girl who doesn't give up easily.

so here it is:

10 themes that have kept me busy.

3 cakes, 4 dozen cupcakes, new frosting skills and tools
2 kid parties, 6 family gatherings, 12 tours of the house, 3 dinner parties
outreach and correspondence with friends who still remember me
1 family getaway, 2 orienteering races, 2 mommy and daddy day extravaganzas, 4 weeks of family in town
2 school year completions and celebrations, 2 starts of summer camps, 2 school fundraisers
the pursuit of closet/garage/desk organization, 5 ongoing remodel projects
multiple attempts to regain muscles, 3 household viruses, 1 ear infection
2 personal movie screenings, 2 reconnections to professional world, 1 new head-shot photo session
occasional work for pay, event contemplation, 3 press interviews
costco renewal and reclaiming all things domestic

for 2 months, life has been free flowing and very different than it was last year at this time. i'm not sure that i am ready to make a list for all that i survived over the last 2 years. i haven't decided what i want to remember and what i want to forget. but i have learned life marches on with or without a list and the secret to my happiness is knowing what i can control and what i can't.

so with that, welcome to my public journal.

i make no promises but hope to be a cure for few moments of boredom.

list master megan