Monday, January 11, 2010

this made me laugh, have fun

"The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.


Here are the winners:

1.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2.
Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3.
Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4.
Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5.
Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6.
Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7.
Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8.
Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9.
Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10.
Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11.
Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13.
Glibido : All talk and no action.
14.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17.
Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:

1.
Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.
2.
Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3.
Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4.
Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5.
Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6.
Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7.
Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.
8.
Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9.
Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10.
Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11.
Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12.
Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13.
Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15.
Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16.
Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men"

16 comments:

  1. :ohmy: this is interesting!

    Thanks for blogging <3
    YOU"RE A ROCKSTAR! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL, thanks for posting ;) I like this one :P

    8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok, these are definitely some interesting words to add to the vocabulary....just wondering with Kate Howard and how she loves big and unusual words- I'd love to see Kate use a few of these in the future!!!! lol

    Number 2 and 5 seem to be words describing the people at GH!!! Maybe one day all our support will finally break through that "bozone" layer and reach those particular "ignoranus" in charge!! Thanks for the vocabulary lesson!

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow..very creative words and definitions but difficult to remember, specially if English is second language!

    I should say that #6 on the bottom list (negligent)has happened to me several times. Once the guy was the mayor of our town campaigning!! yes, he won again :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Omg, these are hilarious! Hahahaha!

    "13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist" LOL

    Thanks for the laugh and for blogging! =)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Megan you always make my day with your blog and this is my favorite. You are the best and we love you.

    oxoxox
    dinah"bartender"

    ReplyDelete
  7. WOW Megan! This is one of my favorite blogs of yours. I like these words. I think I am going to think of ways to work them into regular conversation just to see the reaction I get. Thanks for what I think will be my new favorite game. I think I will start with Ignoranus.

    PS. I am kind of sad you didn't anwser my question on the Megan Haven. Maybe one day you could sent me the answer privately. I promise I won't share it, I just wanted to know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Good stuff! "IgnorANUS" stands out as a personal favorite for me... seems as if this world is overrun by these today. None more obvious than Jeffrey Zucker and Robert Guza.

    Thanks for the laugh! And, thanks again for that AWESOME video blog! SO enjoyed that! Best wishes always!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Okay, that was just priceless!!

    "Oyster" is my favorite ... it quite literally made me laugh out loud! Thank you for sharing this with us and putting a smile on everyone's face who read it!

    ReplyDelete
  10. OMG too funny! I think a few of these could come in handy. In fact, think I'll see how many I find use for. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Now these are good! "Beelzebug" reminds me of some childhood camping experiences.

    Do you think so many Americans have not experienced "intaxicaton" because of their "bozone layer?"

    And I wonder if the "dopeler effect" didn't happen to the high ups at GH the past year? No, the better word choice for the high ups is what Jean and Cindy said, "ignoranus."

    Again, thank you for the video chat...it was a blast!! More video blogs are always welcomed too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. i deleted my twitter page but it'd be cool if you could still maybe take a look at this to figure out your "personality type". my guess was 3 ;)

    Enneagram Test

    you can post the answer over on twitter if you decide to take it :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. ^^^
    forgot to add, choose "enneagram tests" then under enneagram tests choose "short enneagram test" (50 questions) it goes by fast.

    ReplyDelete