All of 2009, all I could hear and feel was tick, tick, tick. Was it a phantom metronome motivating pace or a bomb about to go off? All I knew was that it permeated my life. It kept me up at night, suppressed my appetite and blurred my focus. Most importantly it made me one crabby camper, just ask anyone around me, because its vibrations perpetuated my belief I was in control of/responsible for everything.
Unfortunately trying to quiet the sound of time slipping through my fingers actually created a paradox: more output = fewer results. The harder I tried, the more I qualified my efforts as failures. Even though I woke everyday hoping for satisfaction, my only reward was making it to bedtime. How could I get time back on my side and stop pounding in my ears?
Are you ready? It's so simple it could make one weep. The clock turned 12 and the ball dropped. Then silence. Did the bomb explode? I looked around for devastation but found myself alive in not only a new year, but a new decade. Suddenly instead of problems and limitations, I saw love, health and prosperity. I could once again appreciate what I had and not just obsess over what I wanted. I vowed at that moment my epiphany would last. I had been given a moment of wisdom: understanding the difference between what I could control and what I couldn't.
Predictably, I devised a plan and wrote a list. No longer would I waste time feeling sorry for myself. Instead I would spend my energies on small efforts towards the larger goal of balancing my life. I put only the tangible on my list and promised myself to be patient. On 1/1/10, I embarked on my new philosophical adventure. Now when doubt crosses my mind, I remind myself that ticking is actually fear. Then I change the subject.
One month in and results abound. My first day back at yoga class the teacher reminded me to release my clenched muscles so they could extend and lengthen. So I did, and they actually do! This one example is indicative of all my life categories. Relationships with my kids, husband, friends, career, body and general sanity have all expanded, grown and strengthened.
Life is too short to let fear compromise the possibilities. Sometimes all we have to do is find the mute button.
Wow, that was beautiful and awe inspiring. Thank you for the sharing what you have learned through the hard times. Your an inspiration to us all. I look forward to more of your reflections on life and happiness. May this inspire the rest of us women to let go of what we cannot control and be grateful for what God has given us. Beauty abounds we just need to stop and enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteWow so wise and profound!!!! Are you sure you don't have a psych degree? I have to learn this same lesson Time to let go of things that I cannot control. That does not mean I will stop fighting for what I want. Anyway, bravo Megan for your life lesson!!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post!! I love that you started by making a list. I do that too, and it truly does help. Thanks so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI have decided you are my new guru! That was profound and inspiring. You very much put things into perspective - to use a word that has popped up quite a bit recently. May I just add lyrics that have been playing in my brain a lot lately:
ReplyDeleteSo don't yield to the fortunes
You sometimes see as fate
It may have a new perspective
On a different day
And if you don't give up
And don't give in
You may just be O.K.
Can't thank you enough, Megan!
Epiphanies are good and especially if they can stick, and I hope yours does because it sounds like you were torturing yourself a little there... 2009 seemed to be a tough year all around for everyone and a new year is like a "RESET" button if people can only find it. I'm happy for you that you did.
ReplyDeleteYou have been such an inspiration and motivator to so many. Not a lot of people can say that. And it isn't because everyone has this idea that everything is all butterflies and roses or that you are some sort of Stepford person lol. It's because of things like what you describe in this blog, that you sometimes struggle like everyone else but you always seem to find a way through it. And that you're open enough to share that.
Thank you for the new blog :)
A new year, another layer peeled away and look how enlightened you've become! Unfortunately Megan, the most profound lessons are usually the most painful! Thus the old saying: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
ReplyDeleteGreat work, Megan. I'm proud of you.
love, peace & happiness,
gail
Megan we loved you!!!
ReplyDeletexoxoxo
dinah
this blog is now printed on very pretty paper and come monday, has a permanent spot at my desk. love it :)
ReplyDeleteWell ever since you started this relationship with your fans back 2007,you always amazed me at how honest and candid you were.You have opened your book of life and let us read and be inspired,from the highs to the lows.Last year was low,but you are still here and we are still here,so lets have great year!Mute us out when you have too,but even if you can't hear or see us-You know we are there!
ReplyDeleteAlways and still is an inspiration!
So, I just have to tell you that I used a line from one of your past blogs for my "senior quote" in the school yearbook. I loved it. And this blog has soooo many other potential quotes! So basically what I'm getting at is that you're really awesome and inspiring. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks for blogging! <3
Thanks for Sharing Megan! Your Awesome!
ReplyDeleteLove and Support,
Kellie
I don't know anyone who could give lessons about life better than you do. Simple and yet deep and philosophical. You are truly a wonderful person to know. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and knowledge.
ReplyDeleteWith love and support
Ladan
Whoa.. you can't save the world? Megan you are admired and loved more than you even realize.. You have touched people in the most profound ways.. you have no idea how the people around you and those of us not as lucky to be around you just to know you and hear from you, what a gift. The last year was very difficult for you I am sure.. with going from working alot to not hardly working at all.. moving back into your home and trying to organize everything over night(which im sure you tried to do) Auditions and trying to get back to that acting life you chose that is very difficult right now..it seems as tho "the economy" has had a bigger effect on people than just financial.. it has on me.. 2009 was a very difficult year for so many.. People that want to save the world and want to fix everything feel the effects even harder (you)..Im glad that the ticking time bomb has subsided in your head and you have come to that conclusion that Everything will be alright! Life is what you make it!! So be happy! And continue to just be yourself and as awesome as you are!! I love ya just being The Megan Ward! Can't wait to see you this summer..
ReplyDeleteP.S. I think Mackenzie is even more excited if thats even possible.. <3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Thank you Megan for reminding us all that it doesn’t matter who we are or what we do for a career at the end of the day we all need to learn the same simple truths. We need to stop trying to control the uncontrollable and just live and appreciate all the many and simple blessing that we have in our lives every day. I think I am going to try to use the “mute button” more in my life.
ReplyDeleteThank you for always sharing with us the life lessons that you have learned. Until next time!
Veronica
Now this is an inspired blog for everyone, i see! Thanks for blogging (:
ReplyDeletexoxo
I so wish I had the opportunity to have had access to your Life's Lessons Learned 30 days ago. I envy the younger people who can invariably use your words of wisdom to aid them in their journey to achieve their goals for the future. Hell, who I am kidding? You continue to inspire ME on a daily basis, too! From now on, when I am whining about something miniscule and insignificant, I will remind myself to take a deep breath, not sweat the things I can't control, and be thankful for what I DO have.....
ReplyDeleteThank YOU, Megan
Tracy <3
This blog is just, WHOAAA, it has to be printed and read multiple times to get the full affect and understanding of its intention. This blog is just, WHOAAA, it has to be printed and read multiple times to get the full affect and understanding of its intention. Which if I’m not mistaken is to share past experiences, and renew hopeful outlook of the future? Thank you for writing and posting this blog.
ReplyDeleteMegan,
ReplyDeleteI learn so much from you. You are my sweet inspiration, xoxoxoxoxo:) Such a visionary. Please, write a book, and/or if you don't already, consider arranging some meet and greets with the fans. I would love to come out and meet you, xoxoxoxoxoxo:)! I love you dearly. I loved you Ghost Whisperer guest spot and I miss you on GH:(so much! Megan, you need to come back as fast as you can. Do you have any Kate news you can share?
Take Care, Megan!:)!
Angy
Well, then I guess perhaps 2009 was pretty good after all:) since it has brought you to the place where you can be at peace with yourself and those around you. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete"I don't know what's happening to me." "Simple. You let out one emotion, the rest will follow. It's like Endora's box." "That was the mother on Bewitched. You mean Pandora" "Yeah, well, she had one too." ~ Jerry and Kramer, Seinfeld.
Dearest Megan,
ReplyDeleteHave you forgotten about me?
Sincerely,
Your Blog
Excellent information, I like your post.
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